| | I've been almost giddy today. Better than I was all last month, and the month before that...
I'm overcompensating. I can feel it. I go home, and I crash. I'm constantly on the verge of tears. My entire musical library is depressing in some sense, but nothing seems to sink low enough to fit my mood.
I'm not suicidal, but I'm wishing death would take me. What a selfish, lazy way to be.
Not like I'd get anywhere by attempting anything, either, but still.
I get so overwhelmed with depressing shit I would never push onto anyone I know, that I end up writing messages to myself. Back and forth, to myself, saying how pathetic I am.
That almost qualifies as insane.
I shouldn't want him to know I miss him, even if he does drop subtle hints. Listening to "Almost Easy"?!
Shame pulses through my heart from the things I've done to you
It's hard to face but the fact remains that this is nothing new
I left you bound and tied with suicidal memories
Come back to me it's almost easy
Now that I've lost you it kills me to say
I've tried to hold on as you've slowly slipped away
I'm losing the fight, I've treated you so wrong now let me make it right
Why would you taunt me with that?
I miss you too much.
You told me exactly what I could already see. That you wanted to love me, tried to love me, but that you couldn't. The plotline to every relationship I have.
I know I'm unlovable.
Please don't pull this now.
It cuts too deep.
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| | Posted 4/7/2009 1:21 AM - 1 View - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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